u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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