yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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