Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
