Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
