Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
