yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
