Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
