I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
