Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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