He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
