He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
