i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I lost the right to judge tonight
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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