you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was born a porn star she said
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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