"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
