Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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