sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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