You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
