I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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