Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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