As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize