It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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