Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
