he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
