I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
