he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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