....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
