I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your penis caused this!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize