Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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