I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize