Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
