Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
