it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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