Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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