OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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