I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
