You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
