you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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