is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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