Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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