I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you never un-have a 4some
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
