woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize