My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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