I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
