U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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