Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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