my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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