He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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