these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
