we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
