just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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