if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
