i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
