i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
