I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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