i may or may not be watching the land before time
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
