from now on my penis is your penis
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
