we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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