I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
