I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
