she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
