it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
