she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
