I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
