i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
