And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
