i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
