fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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