Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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