will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
