I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize