drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
