11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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