"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
