I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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