At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
